THE FINE LINE BETWEEN EXCITEMENT AND CANNIBALISM

This is a poster I came across the other day while out exploring the city. It is part of a public awareness campaign to encourage first time parents to educate themselves about proper child rearing techniques. I am told that one problem is that most medicines here are available without prescriptions, so many new parents often mis-medicate their children. What struck me about the poster were the eyes and eyebrows of the parents. The artist missed something there, and instead of showing excited new parents, the poster unintentionally conveyed something much more sinister. Someone unfamiliar with Chinese might suspect the poster warned hungry parents not to resort to eating their children.

FREEDOM LIKE A BLUE SKY

I asked all my high school classes to write down what they dreamed to do with their lives. The most common answer: Become a boss and make lots of money. Becoming a photographer, an NBA player, and a actor were also common dreams.  My favorite response came from an unassuming 9th grade girl named Xu Xu (pronounced She She).

"Traveling around the world is my dream. I like this dream. It's interesting. Some people have asked me, "Why is this your dream?" My answer is, "Because I want to be free!" I like freedom; it is like a blue sky. I want to be a bird, traveling around the world and learning many things that teachers can't teach you. I like this dream so much. It makes me very happy."

AN AFTERNOON AT SAM'S CLUB IN CHINA

Julie and I have a membership at Sam's Club here in China, which is a 20 minute scooter ride from our apartment. We originally joined because we were told by other expats that Sam's had the safest meat in town. The place is always packed, and like in the US, the actual savings to be had here are suspect. The reason I like to go is that they tend to have pretty fresh fish and sushi. The fish is so fresh in fact that you can watch an employee pull one out of the tank and brain it on the floor in front of you. That's what's happening in the top photo. The Sam's employee is killing the fish by pounding it several times on the floor that everyone walks on. Some liquid of an unknown type got on my camera as I took the photo. What I love about the picture is that the employee wears both a hairnet and gloves as he does something completely unhygienic. Next we have the soft-shelled turtles. I don't think any meat eater should judge others for eating a different type of meat, but what got me about these live turtles was the price tags pierced into their bodies. It seems a bit barbaric and unnecessary. I'm pretty sure that even without the tag that the cashier could identify it as a turtle. Or perhaps it's a security tag to avoid the awkward, "do you have a live soft-shelled turtle in your pants" inquiry. I'm not sure if the pricing is per kilo or per turtle, but 155 RMB works out to about $25 USD. That puts turtle well into the luxury food category. People here eat it because turtle is believed to increase longevity. Another luxury item is alligator, shown in the last photo. I think it is like the Chinese Viagra. I wonder what I need to eat to treat my contempt. I'm guessing stewed mouse lips or fried chinchilla ears.     

GUANGZHOU STREET OPERA

I saw this performer today while walking around downtown Guangzhou. In heavily trod areas, street performers are pretty common. Most are people with disabilities playing some sort of musical instrument. But on a couple of occasions, I've seen people like the woman above who dress in some sort of historical drag and sing traditional Chinese songs inspired by Confucius. It is quite a sight. This particular woman was on break when I passed by and didn't know what to make of me taking her picture between sets. 

WHY CHINA IS A HOTBED FOR DISEASE

If you stare at this picture of bathroom sinks from my school for a minute, you might notice that something crucial is missing. Not only is it missing from this bathroom, but it's also missing from just about every bathroom I've ever used in China. SOAP. Generally, people in China don't use soap when washing their hands. Not that I've observed at least: not after using the bathroom, not before a meal, not after using public transportation. What's most disturbing is that even some restaurants don't have soap for their employees. I know this because many of the places where we eat have bathrooms without sinks, so we have to use their kitchens to wash up. No soap. People are touching raw meats and then not washing their hands with soap. The lack of soap is the first problem that enables diseases to spread here in China. 

The second problem is that Chinese don't as a habit cover their mouths or noses when coughing or sneezing. Yes, when people sneeze here in China, their snot and germs are let loose into the air for all to enjoy. I'd like to stress that I'm not exaggerating here. People rarely even bow their heads for a sneeze. And as you might imagine, in a country with terrible air quality, people sneeze and cough quite a bit here, so the air is a constant mix of pollution and germs. In addition to not covering their noses and mouths, spitting and blowing snot rockets are also popular. Spitting is self-explanatory, though I should mention it is extremely common and done just about everywhere; on buses, in restaurants, and even in the classroom. The snot rocket might not be as well known. A snot rocket is achieved by briefly plugging the nose and blowing to build pressure, then removing the hand which causes snot to shoot from the nose. Walking down a public street here you are sure to witness a few snot rockets. The other day I watched a man try to snot rocket on a rat. He was not successful. And here is one final gem. Many men here grow their pinkie nail out on one hand, similar to the "coke" nail back in the States. But instead of aiding illicit drug use, this nail is commonly used to clean their ears. It pretty common to see a man on the subway digging in their ear with this nail, then removing it and investigating. The first time I saw it I thought it was a practical joke until I realized that no one around him seemed to be repulsed by it.

So if you consider that all these bad habits are quite common throughout a country of more than a billion people, and you add the fact that government regulation is a joke and that businesses are typically unscrupulous, it is no wonder that there is a new strain of bird flu currently spreading across China. What is crazy to me is that something as obvious as a government led campaign to educate people about washing their hands with soap and water is not the immediate response. 

YOU HAVE IBS? YOU MUST HAVE REALLY STRONG LEGS

There are few things in this world as disgusting as a public Chinese toilet. It doesn't matter if it's located in a country club or a bus station; toilets here are filthy olfactory nightmares. Let's start with the trash can in the corner, filled with used toilet paper. It's enough in itself to start the gag reflex going. I'm not sure if this is a really bad habit or if people here are told the pipes can't handle the paper, but seeing as how the streets all smell of sewage anyways, I'd like to suggest going ahead and flushing the paper. My second issue is with the design: it's moronic! Who wants to squat while doing their business? It is very hard on your leg muscles, not to mention you have your pants pulled down and they are directly below you, thus blocking the target. The only way to use the thing and not make a mess is to stand in front of the hole, turn around, and hang your ass way out. It is a precarious balancing act at best, and is only effective for one type of business. Urinating requires you to turn completely back around and face the toilet. All the while you are standing in other people's filth and forced to stare at your own excrement. Finally you finish and its time to tidy up down there, but alas, no restrooms in China provide toilet paper. You must carry your own around at all times! The second largest economy in the world can't afford to provide free universal toilet paper! Ethiopian toliets have free toilet paper. Unless I'm having a DEFCON 5 emergency, I avoid using public toilets here at all costs. Our apartment does in fact have a western toilet. I believe it to be the cleanest receptacle in all of Guangzhou.

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT CHINA

China isn't all bad. Perhaps my recent blog posts incorrectly give that impression. I like working with young people here. It is rewarding, fun, and pretty stress free. There are even a handful of things I like about China in general. In no particular order, and certainly not because this nice immigration officer is standing here making me: 

1. There is no tipping in China. I hate tipping. I've never understood why I have to pay the salary of someone else's employees. It used to be that you tipped for excellent service; now you just tip for any service. Thank you so much for pouring me a cup of coffee. Here's a dollar. I really appreciate you taking the top off my beer. Here's a buck. It's absurd. There is no tipping in any industry in China, and perhaps the service is a bit lackluster as a result, but it's not terrible either. If anyone in our lives deserved a tip it would be a doctor who successfully performed your surgery, or a teacher who helped you see the world in a new way, not someone who gave you a haircut. Other countries I've been to that don't tip are New Zealand and Japan, which coincidentally are the most enlightened places I'm aware of.

2. There is no sales tax in China. After living in two states with no sales tax (Oregon and Montana) I've really grown to resent this particular tax. My biggest problem with sales tax is that it takes a nice round number and makes it odd, which results in being handed a bunch of change. That being said, I would gladly pay 15% sales tax and walk around with pants loaded down with pennies if the government provided free health care. 

3. The Chinese love drinking tea. I started drinking tea a few years ago, and I swear by it. It is so good for you on so many levels. We have China to thank for introducing the world to this beverage. Here in China places that sell tea are a lot like bars, where people linger for hours talking and drinking. There are specific rituals invloved with drinking tea, all of which aid in relaxation. When you buy tea, it is usually followed by sitting with the store owner and drinking several cups. 

4. The Chinese exercise, dance, and sing in parks and public spaces. Usually these activities are done as part of a group in the early morning or in evening. I particularly like watching group ballroom dancing and group taekwondo.  Public parks also usually have some basic exercise equipment in addition to kids playground equipment.

5.  Grandparents play a large role in raising their grandkids. It's kind of nice to see an old man on a scooter with his granddaughter, or playing badminton with her. Families are very close here in general, and extended families usually live together. It is quite common for grandparents to take care of the kids while the parents are off at work.

6. There is a lack of enforcement of laws. Admittedly, this is a bad thing in most instances. But for a white guy without a drivers license and no vehicle registration for his scooter, it is quite nice. If there was any kind of traffic enforcement I would easily be caught. But the truth is, I drive my scooter 20 minutes each way to work on major roads, 4 times a day, and have never been stopped, and rarely see police. One massive problem associated with this is that the roads are insane and dangerous, but that is the subject for another, less positive blog.

7. There is very little crime in China and extremely limited violent crime. This is one of the nice bonuses of having a non-transparent, authoritarian government. People are too scarred to step out of line because they fear what amounts to unclear, but likely severe consequences. As a result China is a pretty safe place, more so than most of the United States. The same was true in Jordan.