LOOK FOR ME ON AL JAZEERA AMERICA ONLINE

Yes, the man shooting sparks out of his groin in the background is me. My buddy Patrick Brown recently shot a series of photos up in the small town of Deer Trail, Colorado, and I worked as his assistant. The story is about the towns' recent infamy over a proposed ordinance that would allow people to shoot down drones that enter into Deer Trail airspace. One caveat: you have to use a shotgun. The ordinance is symbolic and meant to be a protest against the domestic use of drones. Its  author, Phillip Steel, understands that you can't shoot down a drone with a shotgun. His point is that the domestic use of drones should scare the shit out of all of us. You can view the online article by clicking here.  

MY NEW HOBBY: REPURPOSING

These pictures may be a little misleading as it appears at first glance that an alter got repurposed into an alter. Please understand that the top photo is an organ with religious figures haphazardly placed on it. The bottom photo is a well thought out and executed alter. I blame this new hobby on watching too many episodes of American Pickers at the gym. The house we rented here in Colorado Springs came furnished, and among the furnishings was this dilapidated organ. I originally asked the landlord if I could get rid of it because I considered it an eyesore. But slowly it grew on me. I started seeing the beauty of this old piece. I ended up doing a lot to bring it back to life, but it was important to me to keep its original integrity intact. I gutted all the internal organ parts and replaced the front panels with art glass. I also added lights. I think my favorite part of the whole piece are the cast iron foot pedals. 

MY PARENTS IN SHOVE MEMORIAL CHAPEL

I just thought these two photos of my parents turned out nice. I shot them with a 50mm lens with natural light. Shove Memorial Chapel is on the campus of nearby Colorado College. In my opinion, it is the most beautiful church here in the Springs. 

MY FIRST COVER IN COLORADO!

I started doing some freelance work for the free local newspaper in Colorado Springs called "The Independent". The cover features the good folks from Zeezos costume shop dressed, in a clockwise fashion: a turkey, an elf who has been beat up, a flapper, and a magician. It felt really good to be behind the camera again. As a bonus, Zeezos has generously offered me free costumes to use in my secret life as a plushophiliac (do a quick google search).

TEN TERRIBLE WAYS TO DIE

Sometimes a photo shoot can meander its way into bizarro land, and if that happens, it's best to embrace it. Today I was up working in Deer Trail, Colorado with my buddy Patrick Brown, and we were waiting for the subject to arrive down by some railroad tracks. I got the idea to tie myself up and lay in the tracks for a new Facebook picture. As I was laying down there, I started thinking about how terrible it would be to die that way. And that thought led to my next photo project: Ten terrible ways to die!     

LIVING HOPE CHURCH, COLORADO SPRINGS

Building Aesthetics: t. Nondenominational. It sounds good. Twenty years ago when I was looking for a little religion, "nondenominal" attracted me because it sounds like "nonconformist". I assumed that if a church wasn't tied to so much bureaucracy and tradition that they would be free to take more controversial stances. Turns out most are a haven for crazy, feeding on the weak with their over the top theatrics and animated sermons. But I've gotten ahead of myself; this is simply a ranking of building aesthetics. Living Hope is a large church that sits on a hill overlooking downtown Colorado Springs. It is its strategic position that first alerted me to the churchs' existence. The outside is fairly unusual with lots of curved flowing lines and a massive stained glass wall. The stained glass however is not utilized in the sanctuary, but rather in the entry foyer. Weird choice. The actual sanctuary feels like a warehouse with its brick walls, complete lack of natural light, its Holiday Inn circa 1974 carpet, and flame retardant roof. A large sheet hung behind the pulpit with a strange empty box in the center illuminated by red lights. The chairs were the kind you might find in a convention center inside a Holiday Inn. Really, this church could save a ton of money by holding services at the Holiday Inn.

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t. When I created this category, I was envisioning a church just like Living Hope. People around me made me feel extremely uncomfortable throughout the service. It's hard to say exactly what I felt, but it mostly germinated from congregates eyes. There wasn't much behind the people's eyes here, or something in them that was quite different from what they were pretending to be. Kind of like how Hunter S. Thompson described people he saw gambling in Las Vegas as lizards when he was under the influence of drugs. Inside I was surrounded by fucking lizards pretending to worship a hippie named Jesus.  

Hassled by Members: t. A few people have asked me if I've ever gotten hassled taking photos of the churches after the service, and until today, the answer was no. Typically, if there is no call to be paranoid, people generally aren't. But as I was taking the interior photo above, a man saddled over to me and asked, "do you mind me asking why you are taking photos?" It was clear to me that he was suspicious of me. I told him I thought the sanctuary was interesting. This lovely conversation went on for several minutes. Later, he followed me out to the parking lot and asked a ton of questions about what other churches I've attend and what I do in Colorado Springs. Worst case scenario: I was taking photos to case the church so I could come back later and steal the chairs and sheet draperies. Next worst case scenario: I was taking photos to accompany a scathing blog post about this crazy place. Maybe there was call to be paranoid. Another interesting fact: when I go to a service I take notes to remember what took place. Usually I feel awkward doing this, because no one else is. Not true at Living Hope. Everyone was taking notes and highlighting their bibles. I imagine most were writing things like, "Preacher says Isaiah illustrates the cycle of perpetual ruin" or some such nonsense like, "Remember self-flagillation tonight before bed." 

Religious Time Management: t. The service started by recognizing a handful of the churchs' staff. This went on for way too long and consisted almost entirely of inside jokes. Nothing like inside jokes to make people feel welcome. The entire service with music was an hour and a half long, and I felt every minute of it.  

Misinformation: t. Gibberish. I listened to an hour and a half of gibberish. It made my mind hurt trying to figure out what the minister was saying, because in the end, he was doing what politicians do: talk around things without saying anything. Nobody likes to seem stupid, and chances are most people attending thought they just "didn't get it". Not true; there was nothing to get. At one point the  minister referenced the "royal diadem", which, in case you didn't know, is a type of crown worn by Eastern monarchs as a badge of royalty. If clarity was the aim, I think that term should have been defined. Churches are also one of the few institutions that can get away with telling people what things mean. If an English teacher told their high school students that Moby Dick is really a metaphor for the loss of innocence before they read the book, they would be chastised in a peer review. Metaphor is meant to be uncovered; the act empowers the reader. When you tell people what everything means you show your contempt for them because what you are really saying is, "let me tell you what this means because you are too stupid to figure it out on your own", or perhaps, "let me show you how clever I am because I figured this thing out." The minister in essence becomes the kid in your class that screamed out the solution to the riddle the teacher just posited. Other misinformation included a tirade about how God loves justice. Does he, or is he about unconditional love? Justice seems kind of petty for a cosmic metaphor of love. One thing that sounded truthful was when the minister talked about how much he liked the "Jesus as Shepard"  analogy. Yes, I was in a room full of sheep following the Shepard, but as in another famous analogy, the loud talking sheep at the pulpit was quite certainly a wolf. The swatch wearing minister even brought himself to tears during the service when he dramatically whispered the idiom "God rejoices over you!" And the Oscar goes to: the wolf in sheeps' clothing!      

Presence of God: t. God was so far from this service that his nose was bleeding as he sat shaking his head up in heaven. You could almost hear him say, "not quite folks!" If I had to sum up the service, I would say that Living Hope thinks Jesus is really really really really really awesome. I'm finding this thinking time and time again to be really ironic, as not a soul in the church would be able to stand Jesus if he knocked on their door and introduced himself as such. "Nice to meet you Jesus. Now this here is private property. Get your homeless ass off my porch before I fill you full of buckshot!" Additionally, lets take a minute to recognize how utterly creepy the music after the service was. I've mentioned before my distaste for raised hands during singing, and everyone here had hands up like they were being robbed. To make things even more bizarre, there was also weird chanting and religious gyration. The band had a drum, which in terms of religious music, I hate, and a saxophone, which at the time I didn't know that I hated, but now feel confident in saying that I hate. It was full on christian rock, which I hate. Here is a sample of the impassioned lyrics: "the Godhead, three in one, father, spirit, son, the lion and the lamb. The lion and the lamb."     
   

Overall Inspiration (total score): -t. This church was the opposite of inspirational, which is to say I left today feeling uncomfortable and in a bad head space, so they get the first negative inspiration score. After the service, I really felt the need to do a healthy activity like reading or exercising to purge the negative energy that had accumulated in and around my soul. Ironically the minister said that members should carry themselves so people understand instantly that they and this church have the answer. Not only do they not have the answer, I'm pretty sure they thought the question was, "how many dragons can fit in a breadbox?" These are the people that give religion a bad name, because they are essentially religious used car salesmen that don't have even the remotest idea what God is about. Stay far away from Living Hope. 

GREAT SAND DUNES NATIONAL PARK

Great Sand Dunes is the newest national park in America. It is located in southern Colorado, only about an hours drive from the New Mexico border. It consists of 19,000 acres of sand dunes, including the highest in North America at 750 feet. My buddy Bryce and I did a little backpacking there as I was looking for an activity that two men could do together that didn't involve drinking beer. It was around 60 degrees during the day, but at night it dipped into the twenties. Our water bottles froze and so did a banana that I was looking forward to eating for breakfast. I feel confident in estimating that my sleeping bag is rated somewhere in the 40 degree range as evinced by my lack of sleep. That reminds me of the classic debate of backpacking: do I get out of my mummy bag in the freezing cold to take a piss, or do I hold it even though the discomfort is keeping me awake? I chose to hold fast, quite certainly the wrong choice. At night the park's claim to fame is its view of the milky way. It was quite impressive, though I may have been more intrigued with the bug in the second photo.    

AS ONCE THE WINGED ENERGY OF DELIGHT

As once the winged energy of delight

carried you over childhood's dark abysses,

now beyond your own life build the great

arch of unimagined bridges.

Wonders happen if we can succeed

in passing through the harshest danger;

but only in a bright and purely granted

achievement can we realize the wonder.

To work with Things in the indescribable

relationship is not too hard for us;

the pattern grows more intricate and subtle,

and being swept along is not enough.

Take your practiced powers and stretch them out

until they span the chasm between two

contradictions... For the god

wants to know himself in you.

by Rainer Maria Rilke

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH, COLORADO SPRINGS

Building Aesthetics: t t t t. Before todays service, I had never even heard of congregational churches. Apparently they are a fairly liberal christian religion with no central leadership like the Catholics or Protestant sects. Their church is a kind of squat-heavy stone building with an imposing orangish/red shingled steeple. I really liked the interior, which was set up in a half-moon orientation, and it made you feel like you were part of the action, where everyone was on equal footing.  A few rays of light strategically fell right on the lectern.  I was told that the church recently spent a ton of money restoring their organ, and it was really beautiful. I just wish organ music was more pleasant to the ear. 

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t t t. People today were very nice and seemed thoughtful. I had a long chat with the woman sitting next to me after the service and really liked her. She was a private music instructor at nearby Colorado College. The minister forced us to interact twice during the service, and at the time, I was really annoyed by it. The second time I almost left the service. "Turn to your neighbor and discuss a superpower you would like to have," he said. It was too early in the morning for this bull-shit I thought. I was so uncomfortable that the only superpower I could think of was to be invisible. But later I reflected that it was nice to be pushed outside my comfort zone. And I learned a few things from the woman, like that skin hydration starts from the inside.  

Hassled by Members: t t t t. People were nice and there was no pressure to join. They did do the thing where they asked people at this church for the first time to stand up. I chose to remain seated. People who stood were recognized and given applause, although awkwardly the woman who stood near me was overlooked by the minister. Whoops! No applause for you! To date this church had the most diversity with many African Americans, Hispanics, gays, and people of all ages. 

Religious Time Management: t t t. The service was generally well laid out with a bit too much time wasted on ritual and religious pledges. The minister, though well spoken and thoughful, came across as  a bit too eager, and at times, insincere.  In addition to giving the sermon, he sang in the choir and led a song with his guitar. My hokey meter went crazy when we were asked to make a small box with our hands and whisper a concern into it. Next we were told to lift our concern laden hand box over our heads and slowly let it go. Unfortunately for me, my concern that I was investing too much time in hokey ritual landed right on my head! The sermon revolved around one line in the bible concerning having the faith of a mustard seed, which, if I understand it correctly, means that having only a spec of faith could be all we need. And understanding that faith is really just hope and optimism to the extreme degree, I don't think you could argue that one. That is of course unless we are being asked to have faith that the end of the world is nigh. I also kind of wish that the writers of the bible might have foreseen our future shift from agrarian life and used the more universally understood "sand" as the metaphor. 

Misinformation: t t t t. "Jesus was sent here to unite us". I think this statement begs the question: How well did he do at this? I think any dogma that implies if you don't believe in it, bad things will happen to you is sure to divide not unite. Not being an expert in religion though, I don't know if this is the fault of Jesus or with how others have interpreted his teachings. Surely Jesus wouldn't have thought that his predecessor Buddha was spending his afterlife in hell.   

Presence of God: t t t. At one point the minister recognized an older man in the choir who would soon be allowed to legally marry his partner of 38 years. It almost brought me to tears. The happiness and joy in his eyes as the congregation applauded was quite beautiful. I found out from the woman I was forced to talk to that the church actually changed its policy concerning gays during the 90's and began a new policy of acceptance. I really admire that decision, which I'm sure angered some in the congregation. But that feeling that everyone was welcome was palpable in the santuary. It also reminded me that people and institutions do in fact change. 

Overall Inspiration (total score): t t t. Though not at the time, with hindsight I appreciated the church pushing me out of my comfort zone by forcing me to talk to my neighbor. I suppose if anything good is ever going to happen on this planet it will start by strangers having meaningful conversations with each other.

GRACE AND ST. STEPHEN'S EPISCOPAL CHURCH, COLORADO SPRINGS

Building Aesthetics: t t t t. For a large church, Grace and St. Stephens is pretty well designed. The outside is made of stone and features giant gothic spires. The inside has lovely squared wooden pews, polished concrete floors, and amazing stained glass throughout. The sanctuary doesn't get a ton of natural light, but the stained glass lets in just enough to make the inside, though quite large, feel intimate. Probably the most beautiful feature is the hand painted wood ceiling above the apse, which reminded me a lot of the churches in Ethiopia. The biggest aesthetic strike for me was the gold accents throughout the church. Gold makes me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps it's the bourgeois nature of the substance, but I've always found its use off-putting. It just feels like a lazy design element. 

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t t. I felt pretty indifferent to the people at church today. They seemed nice enough, but nobody I'd hang out with socially. There seemed to be a lot of seniors at the service, and some were so feeble that the priest had to come to their pews to give them sips of Jesus' blood directly. And maybe it was just me, but the all white church clergy wearing white robes has bad associations.

Hassled by Members: t t t t. I got a couple of friendly hellos after the service and was made to shake strangers hands during the service and say, "Peace be with you", a kind of clunky way of saying, "have a good day". I'm not sure any actual "peace" changed hands.

Religious Time Management: t. The Episcopalians get the award for longest service so far, at an hour and thirty minutes, which is to say, about 45 minutes too long. The order of service was actually a booklet rather than a pamphlet or flyer. I appreciated its detailed minute to minute account of the service, but by page 16, I was over it. I like to sing at church as much as the next guy, but ten hymns is too many, and none of them stirred anything in me. A lot of them were the kind of songs that were just words that as an afterthought were put to music. Also, I'm not sure how I feel about religion embracing technology. The head priest (called a rector) must have had bullet points for his sermon on his i-phone, as he kept glancing at it, or perhaps he was anxious about getting a call on some old chairs he put on Craigslist. As with the Catholic service, I don't like being made to kneel. In today's instance, the woman in front of me wasn't kneeling because she was older, so I was awkwardly right at her back.   

Misinformation: t t. "Leprosy is just like cooties". I thought this was a hilarious joke and it initially caused me to respect the rector and his brilliant sense of humor. The problem was, he wasn't making a joke. This was his idea of a great analogy. He elaborated on the comparison over the course of the next several minutes, and by the end one thing was clear: this guy was traumatized as a child by being given cooties. If only he had gotten the shot! He said in all seriousness that cooties was the most painful experience of childhood. He must have grown up in a house like Ricky Schroder in Silver Spoons. His second most painful experience was when the toy train that ran through his living room stopped working. Throughout his analogy I kept imaging the rector having a conversation with someone actaully suffering from leprosy: "Father, you don't know what it feels like to have your limbs continue to fall of," the suffer would exclaim. "Oh, but I do my son. When I was just a small boy I was given cooties by a mischievous little girl in my 3rd grade class!" 

Presence of God: t t. Episcopalians attempt to straddle the gulf between Protestants and Catholics. I found myself appreciating their formality, especially the high pulpit in which the priest prothletised from. In this instance, I was taken in by the theatrics of a guy looking down on me and telling me what the bible means as he squinted and rocked back and forth. It reminded me of Father Maple preaching from his ship pulpit in Moby Dick. I also appreciated the episcopalian declaration of faith that was recited during the service. It's nice to know where people stand on the crucial issues of our day like the resurrection of the dead and baptism.

Overall Inspiration (total score): t t t. Though the actually sermon and service did nothing for me, I was inspired by the church itself and some of the rector's theatrics.  

MEET OUR NEW BUDDY FLYNN

The search is over! You can't volunteer at a rescue organization for long and keep coming home empty-handed. Meet our new dog Flynn, named after the character on Breaking Bad formerly known as Walt Jr. Flynn is purebred Brittany Spaniel. Brittany's are bred to be bird hunting dogs and typically have high energy, but our guy is a lover and would prefer to nap at our side, or in an ideal world, on top of us. He's only five months old, but is super smart and is learning very quickly. He sleeps in a crate without complaining, goes to the bathroom outside, and only jumps up on us 73 times a day. His breeder gave him to the shelter because he may have a luxating patella, basically a loose knee cap. We are keeping an eye on it, but it doesn't seem to stop him from chasing squirrels.

SAINT MARY'S CATHOLIC CHURCH, COLORADO SPRINGS

Building Aesthetics: t t. Saint Mary's is the largest of the many Catholic churches in the Colorado Springs area. It is grand and, in my opinion, overdone. The inside was pretty, but not cozy, boasting a mismatched combination of gothic and art deco styles. The large baptismal pool near the entry smelled like flatulence, and the smell embedded itself in my olfactory. It was like having mass next to the hot pots in Yellowstone!  

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t. People here did not strike me as creepy, but they also didn't strike me as  happy or friendly either. One thought I kept having during the service was that most of the people here would probably be annoyed by Jesus if they met him on the street after leaving church. I also had a hard time understanding how the mostly conservative looking congregation makes sense of what amounts to, at its heart, the radically socialist dogma of Christianity.

Hassled by Members: t t t t. No hassle here. No order of service either, which made following along with all the unfamiliar rituals and songs rather difficult. 

Religious Time Management: t t. Catholics do like their ritual. Lots of group recitation, standing, kneeling, chanting, and even strange hand-holding. For an outsider, it is not easy to fit in if you don't know what you are supposed to be doing at any given moment. The priest was Peruvian, and not always easy to understand. The mass had two separate reading from the bible, and not being familiar with the context, I had no clue what they were about. I've never understood why churches read little excerpts from the Bible without offering context. They might as well be reading from James Joyce's Ulysses:

The bag of Goulding, Collis, Ward led Bloom by ryebloom flowered tables. Aimless he chose with agitated aim, bald Pat attending, a table near the door. Be near. At four. Has he forgotten? Perhaps a trick. Not come: whet appetite. I couldn't do. Wait, wait. Pat, waiter, waited (page 266, section 261). 

Yes, that is what random passages from the bible sound like to the overwhelming majority of us!

Misinformation: t t. Morality is a tough thing to preach. People tend to preach morality as objective truth, and that can cause problems. Case in point: the priest asked what we would do if we were homeless and found a bag with $50,000, and yes, the "right" answer was that obvious. My first thought however was, "if I find a bag with that much money, it is almost certainly drug money. I'm homeless, life has kicked me around pretty good, and then I stumble on a bag of drug money. I'm using that dirty money to turn my life around, and I'm pretty sure God would be happy I did." Apparently the priest's example was based on a real incident in Boston, and after he returned the money, the homeless man said that God was his sole provider. In my thinking, your sole provider just tried to hook you up, and you didn't understand the gift. And the drug dealer you returned the money to, not believing his luck, probably went out and blew it all on coke and hookers. On a separate note, the bulletin we grabbed after the service urged congregants to opt their children out of sex education in public schools, because, though not noted on the pamphlet, God loves famine and overpopulation.

Presence of God: t. I felt nothing at church today. Nobody seemed to be singing along to the music, and I never knew where to find the lyrics anyways. At one point a soloist sang "Praise Thy Lord", and I could  almost envision Jesus putting on headphones. At other churches I've felt something during  the rituals, but today the rituals seemed too calculated and overly theatrical. It has been a while since I've been to a Catholic mass, but I have to say communion feels pretty bizarre with perspective. I like symbol and metaphor as much as the next guy, but seeing a church full of people waiting in line to drink the "blood" of a guy they respect is weird. I have a reverence for writers like Melville and Thoreau, but I don't need to physically or spiritually consume their bodies to learn from them. During communion I just kept thinking of True Blood.      

Overall Inspiration (total score): t t. I gave this church two crosses because I really want to reserve one cross for services where I am uncomfortable and feel like the mass is intentionally misleading. I did not feel either of these things were true about Saint Mary's. I was just bored and uninspired. 

NATIONAL MILL DOG RESCUE

Today I met around thirty great reasons not to buy a dog from a pet store. I started volunteering at a fantastic organization called National Mill Dog Rescue (NMDR), located in rural Peyton, CO. They rescue dogs that have spent their whole lives living in small cages at puppy mills. To their "owners", they are just a commodity. It was pretty heartbreaking to see how mistreated and neglected these animals were, and with fairly lax rules for breeders, most of it isn't even illegal. At NMDR, these animals are given love for the first time in their lives. The intake process starts by giving them a name, then they have a quick photo session to document their current condition. Next they are given a bath, and many years worth of urine and  filth are washed away. Many of the dogs had infestations of flees and ticks. Those that need it are groomed. Some of the dogs were so matted it was hard to tell what breed they were (see the fifth picture). The last stop is a vet check. Most of the dogs had never seen a vet before. The bottom photo shows the vet inspecting a wound on a dogs leg where the string that was used to restrain her in her cage had actually embedded into her leg. The second to last photo shows a miniature pincher with a massive untreated tumor on his neck. Volunteer vets perform any surgery the dogs need, and if a specialist is needed, no expense is spared to nurse the dogs back to health. After years spent working for non-profits with great sounding missions yet fairly self-serving agendas, I am happy to give my time to one that actually is making a difference in this world.

FIRST PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH COLORADO SPRINGS

Building Aesthetics: t t. First Presbyterian is my first mega-church, and it is big! Its campus takes up a full city block. The outside of the building is brick and concrete, with parts looking more like an office building than a church. The sanctuary inside is imposing and dark, but does have a beautiful stained glass backdrop. I've never really understood why churches attempt to awe with grandeur. I've never been much impressed with it; it seems too deliberate. Give me a small intimate space. They're much more condusive to spirituality. The service today was also live-streamed on the web, and the preacher gave a special "shout out" to all those watching around the world.

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t. Definitely some creepy zombie-type eyes in church today. But even more creepy than the creepy eyes, were the raised hands during singing. This has got to be one of the most insincere ways I've ever seen to enjoy music. Never have I been moved to the point of raising my hand during a song. Lots of people at First Pres (as they are hiply known) were so moved, and it creeped me out big time. I kept thinking they must have a question about the lyrics. I also found their clapping to be a bit out of sync, like in middle school when we would clap out a beat to "We will rock you" on the school bus, and the special ed kids in the front seats could never quite get it right.

Hassled by Members: t t t t t. This church may have been too big to remember to hassle me. No one introduced themselves to me and I wasn't asked to stand and be recognized. I felt anonymous there, which I like, but it might not be the best for building a community.

Religious Time Management: t t t t. Not bad here. What seemed long were the songs, especially the intro three song medley that everyone had to stand for. I'm youngish, but I still thought it went on for a bit too long. The heavy-set lady next to me gave up after a few minutes. The sermon itself was a good length, and was called, "Leaning Into Full Life". It was about finding heaven in the present moment, and to be honest, it was pretty thought provoking. The preacher used multi-media, such as a clip from Field of Dreams, and relevantly brought bible versus into a 21st century understanding using boxing and skiing analogies. What bothered me was that his delivery sounded off the cuff, but was actually very polished and calculated. Overall he (Graham Beard) seemed like a decent guy, and even showed his vulnerablity when mentioning having had to visit a therapist.  

Misinformation: t t t. "The race that God gives us is designed for us to win" says the preacher. What about the kid that get molested by their uncle or the baby born without legs? Those sound like races that have been sabotaged a bit. It tends to bother me when a philosophy is clearly born from a middle/upper class perspective. Looking around the sanctuary, I would guess many of the members had fairly easy races. The preacher also said that dancing was a good way to experience heaven in the present moment. I must be doing something wrong in my breakdancing.  

Presence of God: t t t. Against my better judgement I was moved by the music a bit. I really wanted to hate it. The service I went to was a "contemporary" service, which meant that the church chorus was replaced by a rock band, and the preacher dressed down into jeans and cowboy boots. I hate Christian rock, and though the band had a drummer and an electric guitar, their music landed more on the side of folk. The highlight was Sign No More, a Mumford and Sons song that was rather beautiful. I felt the chill of inspiration run through my old bones a handful of times during the sermon as well, most notably during the Field of Dreams clip when Kevin Costner says, "No, this is Iowa", when his father asks if this is heaven.

Overall Inspiration (total score): t t t t. I didn't think I would, but I liked it here. Not totally, a lot of the people creeped me out, and the church itself felt uncomfortable, but the sermon made me think, and I suppose that's really the point of going to church. The message of the sermon was, "pay more attention to the present moment, because living fully in the present is as close as we get to heaven in this lifetime". Amen to that!

SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT DOG

Julie and I have been looking for a puppy for a few weeks now. I originally really wanted a pug, but a few other breeds have entered the mix, like, in order of appearance: the Goldendoodle,  the Labradoodle, and the French Bulldog. Labradoodles are a mix of Labrador Retreivers and Poodles, while Goldendoodles are a mix of Golden Retrievers and Poodles. They are both bred to make designer, non-shedding crossbreeds. I'm on the fence about the French Bulldog because they hate our freedom so. I want our puppy to bath in the slightly less oxygen rich American freedom that fills our Colorado Springs skies and not sit and silently condemn my choices. I originally wanted a pug because they make me laugh, but then I started thinking, "what if that wears off and I really want a dog that will go running with me", and our pug is like, "hey look at me, I'm still hilarious", but he actually comes off as pathetic, and then starts using catch phrases and broad physical comedy to entertain me.  

PIKES PEAK UNITED METHODIST CHURCH

Building Aesthetics: t t. Pikes Peak Methodist is your run of the mill small church. There is nothing particularly interesting about the building. It is actually rather boring save some pretty cut glass windows. Inside the sanctuary feels a bit claustrophobic with it's narrow design and lack of natural light. Because of the lack of windows, the church  has to be lit by florescent and tungsten lights. I think God prefers natural light. Pews are comfortable though a little close together. I kept brushing my groin into the hymnal in front of me.  

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t t t. There were some unique eyes at church today, but I think that was mostly from glaucoma. People were friendly and seemed sincere and honest. The creepiest person award goes to the homeless guy sitting out front of the church who kept telling me that if I hung around for thirty minutes I would be able to see police arrest him. The church noted in the service that it was particularly sympathetic to the plight of the homeless.

Hassled by Members: t t t t. This church also didn't make me stand up and introduce myself, though several pleas were made for new folks to stay after the service and introduce themselves to members. A few folks came up after the service to say hello and were very friendly. One woman yelled to us as we were leaving, "see you guys next week, right?"

Religious Time Management: t t t t. The service was concise with a large chunk of time going to parishioners concerns. A lot of people had concerns. A lot of people recently had heart attacks. There is something to be said for the peace that comes in hearing others more pressing struggles. If I had to say something today it would have been, "please pray that Julie and I find a puppy soon." 

Misinformation: t t t t. I can't say I heard any misinformation today, though the minister did say that God used her as a medium for poetry. It was a nice poem that she read, but I think God would have done a little better.

Presence of God: t t. I seem to consistently find God in the music. Today it was "What a friend we have in Jesus". I have an old recording of Doc Watson singing this song, and hearing it today made me happy, so much so that I learned it on the guitar when I got home. The Lord's Prayer also sent a shiver up my spine, which I think speaks to the power of repetition and tradition. I'm pretty sure the lay minister of the church is gay, unless Margo is also a boys name. She had a good sense of humor and spoke passionately.

Overall Inspiration: t t t. This church had no real diversity to speak of, not even age diversity. Almost everyone there today was white and over 60. The sermon was really specifically aimed at that age group as evidenced by these comments: "Who here knows what a Nook is, and it's not where you ate breakfast?" and "We all know what prunes do" and "You know how it is when you forget things". The congregation was so old in fact that only half were able to stand for the songs. At one point the minister hit on what is surely their biggest collective fear: to be abandoned in a nursing home, for which she was showered with several "Amens". 

CHAPEL AT THE US AIR FORCE ACADEMY

The chapel at the US Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs is quite beautiful. It contains 4 separate houses of worship: Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and Buddhist (notice any major world religions missing?). The largest sanctuary is claimed by the Protestants and is bathed in a lovely bluish purple light. Jews and Buddhists are relegated to the basement, and the Hare Krishnas have been moved offsite to terminal 3 at Denver International airport. 

INVASION OF THE HOT AIR BALLOONS

Yesterday around 20 hot air balloons descended on the city of Colorado Springs. It was for some sort of festival, but what made it interesting was that they landed all over town; in parks, streets, and on one occasion, almost on a house. An old lady came out of the house yelling that her house wasn't on city property and that the balloon would have to move. 

GARDEN OF THE GODS

This is a good example of poorly placed subjects inside the frame. As you can see from the bottom photo the most interesting part of the landscape is blocked by us. Whoops! This is what happens when you use a scooter as a tripod. These photos were taken in Garden of the Gods, which is located in our backyard (just about). It is a free park that was donated to the city of Colorado Springs by railroad baron Charles Elliot Perkins. The only stipulation was that the city could never charge an entrance fee. Julie's dad and I rode through on scooters, arguably the best way to see it.    

A CAMPFIRE IN MY BACKYARD

ALL SOULS UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH

This is my new plan. Every week I'm going to attend a different church in the Colorado Springs area and grade them according to a list of criteria I created ranging from building aesthetics to the amount of misinformation that was handed out. The best score for each catagory will be five crosses (t t t t t). Colorado Springs has a reputation as a breeding ground for religious zealots, and I'm very curious just how far the rabbit hole goes. This week I attended All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church. Full disclosure: I am a Unitarian Universalist (UU) at heart. That being said, I find huge disparities from one UU church to the next. The church I attended regularly in downtown Portland, OR was excellent. The one in Bozeman, MT started each service with a group hug. Here are my thoughts about All Souls in Colorado Springs. 

Building Aesthetics: t t t. All Souls has a very intimate feel. The exterior is made of wood, brick, and stone, and the interior is filled with lots of warm wood. Large stained glass windows also makes their space inviting. I found the use of powerpoint during the service distracting, and it irritated me that the church used the PC platform instead of Apple (if any denomination should embrace the "Think Different" mantra it should be them). The oversized projector screen also blocked a beautiful nook of the church. 

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t t t t. Most members aired on the side of intensity rather than creepiness, due in large part to their proclivity toward critical thinking. Conversations ranged from the history of rock music to the virtues of Scandinavian planned communities. The creepiest person at the service was the minister's onstage sidekick who led the songs.

Hassled by Members: t t t t. The church didn't make me stand up and introduce myself or anything, but a slippery fellow named Charles did get me to divulge my home address and email under the guise of an upcoming potluck. People were quick to ask if it was my first time at a UU church, though their motivation was not conversion but rather curiosity if I'd heard of the religion.

Religious Time Management: t t t t. The service was less than an hour long, not even enough time to get butt cramps from the wooden pews. The sermon was a good length, but included a 7 minute slideshow featuring the church garden that was awkwardly not set to music, so everyone watched in silence. 

Misinformation: t t t t t. At one point the minister quoted an old Arab adage saying, "you should always carry two pennies: one to buy bread for someone in need, the other to buy yourself a flower". No Arab country that I'm aware of uses the penny. If the saying originated in Jordan, then they would recommend always carrying two qirsh or dinars, depending on the price of bread and the type of flower. 

Presence of God: t t t. If God was here today, he was probably a bit bored. Not much new spiritual ground was covered. My hokey meter did go off a few times: once when a song mentioned not only "mother earth", but also "father air" and "brother fire", and another time when the "web of existence" was mentioned. The minister did have a good sense of humor. When someone sneezed she said, "Bless you. Just doing my job". 

Overall Inspiration: t t t. I felt very comfortable sitting in the church surrounded by a motley crew of most varieties of white folks. People here seemed good natured and thoughtful. The sermon was a bit lacking, though in her defense, the minister admitted that her brother had recently committed suicide. The closest I came to God today was during a song entitled, "We'll Build a Land". I've always liked Rumi, and the closing thought of the service was this: "Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."