ALL SOULS UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST CHURCH

This is my new plan. Every week I'm going to attend a different church in the Colorado Springs area and grade them according to a list of criteria I created ranging from building aesthetics to the amount of misinformation that was handed out. The best score for each catagory will be five crosses (t t t t t). Colorado Springs has a reputation as a breeding ground for religious zealots, and I'm very curious just how far the rabbit hole goes. This week I attended All Souls Unitarian Universalist Church. Full disclosure: I am a Unitarian Universalist (UU) at heart. That being said, I find huge disparities from one UU church to the next. The church I attended regularly in downtown Portland, OR was excellent. The one in Bozeman, MT started each service with a group hug. Here are my thoughts about All Souls in Colorado Springs. 

Building Aesthetics: t t t. All Souls has a very intimate feel. The exterior is made of wood, brick, and stone, and the interior is filled with lots of warm wood. Large stained glass windows also makes their space inviting. I found the use of powerpoint during the service distracting, and it irritated me that the church used the PC platform instead of Apple (if any denomination should embrace the "Think Different" mantra it should be them). The oversized projector screen also blocked a beautiful nook of the church. 

Creepy Glazed Eyes: t t t t t. Most members aired on the side of intensity rather than creepiness, due in large part to their proclivity toward critical thinking. Conversations ranged from the history of rock music to the virtues of Scandinavian planned communities. The creepiest person at the service was the minister's onstage sidekick who led the songs.

Hassled by Members: t t t t. The church didn't make me stand up and introduce myself or anything, but a slippery fellow named Charles did get me to divulge my home address and email under the guise of an upcoming potluck. People were quick to ask if it was my first time at a UU church, though their motivation was not conversion but rather curiosity if I'd heard of the religion.

Religious Time Management: t t t t. The service was less than an hour long, not even enough time to get butt cramps from the wooden pews. The sermon was a good length, but included a 7 minute slideshow featuring the church garden that was awkwardly not set to music, so everyone watched in silence. 

Misinformation: t t t t t. At one point the minister quoted an old Arab adage saying, "you should always carry two pennies: one to buy bread for someone in need, the other to buy yourself a flower". No Arab country that I'm aware of uses the penny. If the saying originated in Jordan, then they would recommend always carrying two qirsh or dinars, depending on the price of bread and the type of flower. 

Presence of God: t t t. If God was here today, he was probably a bit bored. Not much new spiritual ground was covered. My hokey meter did go off a few times: once when a song mentioned not only "mother earth", but also "father air" and "brother fire", and another time when the "web of existence" was mentioned. The minister did have a good sense of humor. When someone sneezed she said, "Bless you. Just doing my job". 

Overall Inspiration: t t t. I felt very comfortable sitting in the church surrounded by a motley crew of most varieties of white folks. People here seemed good natured and thoughtful. The sermon was a bit lacking, though in her defense, the minister admitted that her brother had recently committed suicide. The closest I came to God today was during a song entitled, "We'll Build a Land". I've always liked Rumi, and the closing thought of the service was this: "Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."