THE FINE LINE BETWEEN EXCITEMENT AND CANNIBALISM

This is a poster I came across the other day while out exploring the city. It is part of a public awareness campaign to encourage first time parents to educate themselves about proper child rearing techniques. I am told that one problem is that most medicines here are available without prescriptions, so many new parents often mis-medicate their children. What struck me about the poster were the eyes and eyebrows of the parents. The artist missed something there, and instead of showing excited new parents, the poster unintentionally conveyed something much more sinister. Someone unfamiliar with Chinese might suspect the poster warned hungry parents not to resort to eating their children.

FREEDOM LIKE A BLUE SKY

I asked all my high school classes to write down what they dreamed to do with their lives. The most common answer: Become a boss and make lots of money. Becoming a photographer, an NBA player, and a actor were also common dreams.  My favorite response came from an unassuming 9th grade girl named Xu Xu (pronounced She She).

"Traveling around the world is my dream. I like this dream. It's interesting. Some people have asked me, "Why is this your dream?" My answer is, "Because I want to be free!" I like freedom; it is like a blue sky. I want to be a bird, traveling around the world and learning many things that teachers can't teach you. I like this dream so much. It makes me very happy."

AN AFTERNOON AT SAM'S CLUB IN CHINA

Julie and I have a membership at Sam's Club here in China, which is a 20 minute scooter ride from our apartment. We originally joined because we were told by other expats that Sam's had the safest meat in town. The place is always packed, and like in the US, the actual savings to be had here are suspect. The reason I like to go is that they tend to have pretty fresh fish and sushi. The fish is so fresh in fact that you can watch an employee pull one out of the tank and brain it on the floor in front of you. That's what's happening in the top photo. The Sam's employee is killing the fish by pounding it several times on the floor that everyone walks on. Some liquid of an unknown type got on my camera as I took the photo. What I love about the picture is that the employee wears both a hairnet and gloves as he does something completely unhygienic. Next we have the soft-shelled turtles. I don't think any meat eater should judge others for eating a different type of meat, but what got me about these live turtles was the price tags pierced into their bodies. It seems a bit barbaric and unnecessary. I'm pretty sure that even without the tag that the cashier could identify it as a turtle. Or perhaps it's a security tag to avoid the awkward, "do you have a live soft-shelled turtle in your pants" inquiry. I'm not sure if the pricing is per kilo or per turtle, but 155 RMB works out to about $25 USD. That puts turtle well into the luxury food category. People here eat it because turtle is believed to increase longevity. Another luxury item is alligator, shown in the last photo. I think it is like the Chinese Viagra. I wonder what I need to eat to treat my contempt. I'm guessing stewed mouse lips or fried chinchilla ears.     

GUANGZHOU STREET OPERA

I saw this performer today while walking around downtown Guangzhou. In heavily trod areas, street performers are pretty common. Most are people with disabilities playing some sort of musical instrument. But on a couple of occasions, I've seen people like the woman above who dress in some sort of historical drag and sing traditional Chinese songs inspired by Confucius. It is quite a sight. This particular woman was on break when I passed by and didn't know what to make of me taking her picture between sets. 

WHY CHINA IS A HOTBED FOR DISEASE

If you stare at this picture of bathroom sinks from my school for a minute, you might notice that something crucial is missing. Not only is it missing from this bathroom, but it's also missing from just about every bathroom I've ever used in China. SOAP. Generally, people in China don't use soap when washing their hands. Not that I've observed at least: not after using the bathroom, not before a meal, not after using public transportation. What's most disturbing is that even some restaurants don't have soap for their employees. I know this because many of the places where we eat have bathrooms without sinks, so we have to use their kitchens to wash up. No soap. People are touching raw meats and then not washing their hands with soap. The lack of soap is the first problem that enables diseases to spread here in China. 

The second problem is that Chinese don't as a habit cover their mouths or noses when coughing or sneezing. Yes, when people sneeze here in China, their snot and germs are let loose into the air for all to enjoy. I'd like to stress that I'm not exaggerating here. People rarely even bow their heads for a sneeze. And as you might imagine, in a country with terrible air quality, people sneeze and cough quite a bit here, so the air is a constant mix of pollution and germs. In addition to not covering their noses and mouths, spitting and blowing snot rockets are also popular. Spitting is self-explanatory, though I should mention it is extremely common and done just about everywhere; on buses, in restaurants, and even in the classroom. The snot rocket might not be as well known. A snot rocket is achieved by briefly plugging the nose and blowing to build pressure, then removing the hand which causes snot to shoot from the nose. Walking down a public street here you are sure to witness a few snot rockets. The other day I watched a man try to snot rocket on a rat. He was not successful. And here is one final gem. Many men here grow their pinkie nail out on one hand, similar to the "coke" nail back in the States. But instead of aiding illicit drug use, this nail is commonly used to clean their ears. It pretty common to see a man on the subway digging in their ear with this nail, then removing it and investigating. The first time I saw it I thought it was a practical joke until I realized that no one around him seemed to be repulsed by it.

So if you consider that all these bad habits are quite common throughout a country of more than a billion people, and you add the fact that government regulation is a joke and that businesses are typically unscrupulous, it is no wonder that there is a new strain of bird flu currently spreading across China. What is crazy to me is that something as obvious as a government led campaign to educate people about washing their hands with soap and water is not the immediate response. 

YOU HAVE IBS? YOU MUST HAVE REALLY STRONG LEGS

There are few things in this world as disgusting as a public Chinese toilet. It doesn't matter if it's located in a country club or a bus station; toilets here are filthy olfactory nightmares. Let's start with the trash can in the corner, filled with used toilet paper. It's enough in itself to start the gag reflex going. I'm not sure if this is a really bad habit or if people here are told the pipes can't handle the paper, but seeing as how the streets all smell of sewage anyways, I'd like to suggest going ahead and flushing the paper. My second issue is with the design: it's moronic! Who wants to squat while doing their business? It is very hard on your leg muscles, not to mention you have your pants pulled down and they are directly below you, thus blocking the target. The only way to use the thing and not make a mess is to stand in front of the hole, turn around, and hang your ass way out. It is a precarious balancing act at best, and is only effective for one type of business. Urinating requires you to turn completely back around and face the toilet. All the while you are standing in other people's filth and forced to stare at your own excrement. Finally you finish and its time to tidy up down there, but alas, no restrooms in China provide toilet paper. You must carry your own around at all times! The second largest economy in the world can't afford to provide free universal toilet paper! Ethiopian toliets have free toilet paper. Unless I'm having a DEFCON 5 emergency, I avoid using public toilets here at all costs. Our apartment does in fact have a western toilet. I believe it to be the cleanest receptacle in all of Guangzhou.

THINGS I LIKE ABOUT CHINA

China isn't all bad. Perhaps my recent blog posts incorrectly give that impression. I like working with young people here. It is rewarding, fun, and pretty stress free. There are even a handful of things I like about China in general. In no particular order, and certainly not because this nice immigration officer is standing here making me: 

1. There is no tipping in China. I hate tipping. I've never understood why I have to pay the salary of someone else's employees. It used to be that you tipped for excellent service; now you just tip for any service. Thank you so much for pouring me a cup of coffee. Here's a dollar. I really appreciate you taking the top off my beer. Here's a buck. It's absurd. There is no tipping in any industry in China, and perhaps the service is a bit lackluster as a result, but it's not terrible either. If anyone in our lives deserved a tip it would be a doctor who successfully performed your surgery, or a teacher who helped you see the world in a new way, not someone who gave you a haircut. Other countries I've been to that don't tip are New Zealand and Japan, which coincidentally are the most enlightened places I'm aware of.

2. There is no sales tax in China. After living in two states with no sales tax (Oregon and Montana) I've really grown to resent this particular tax. My biggest problem with sales tax is that it takes a nice round number and makes it odd, which results in being handed a bunch of change. That being said, I would gladly pay 15% sales tax and walk around with pants loaded down with pennies if the government provided free health care. 

3. The Chinese love drinking tea. I started drinking tea a few years ago, and I swear by it. It is so good for you on so many levels. We have China to thank for introducing the world to this beverage. Here in China places that sell tea are a lot like bars, where people linger for hours talking and drinking. There are specific rituals invloved with drinking tea, all of which aid in relaxation. When you buy tea, it is usually followed by sitting with the store owner and drinking several cups. 

4. The Chinese exercise, dance, and sing in parks and public spaces. Usually these activities are done as part of a group in the early morning or in evening. I particularly like watching group ballroom dancing and group taekwondo.  Public parks also usually have some basic exercise equipment in addition to kids playground equipment.

5.  Grandparents play a large role in raising their grandkids. It's kind of nice to see an old man on a scooter with his granddaughter, or playing badminton with her. Families are very close here in general, and extended families usually live together. It is quite common for grandparents to take care of the kids while the parents are off at work.

6. There is a lack of enforcement of laws. Admittedly, this is a bad thing in most instances. But for a white guy without a drivers license and no vehicle registration for his scooter, it is quite nice. If there was any kind of traffic enforcement I would easily be caught. But the truth is, I drive my scooter 20 minutes each way to work on major roads, 4 times a day, and have never been stopped, and rarely see police. One massive problem associated with this is that the roads are insane and dangerous, but that is the subject for another, less positive blog.

7. There is very little crime in China and extremely limited violent crime. This is one of the nice bonuses of having a non-transparent, authoritarian government. People are too scarred to step out of line because they fear what amounts to unclear, but likely severe consequences. As a result China is a pretty safe place, more so than most of the United States. The same was true in Jordan.   

FINDING THE PERFECT FACE MASK

Finding the perfect face mask in China can be daunting. With so many styles and colors to chose from, it is hard to know which one is right for you. I started by thinking about color. I needed something neutral that could go with both casual t-shirts on days off, and dress shirts for work. My palette is a pretty steady stream of black and blues, so I decided a nice solid navy blue would do the trick. Blue has the added bonus of bringing out my eyes. Now as far as style is concerned, I knew I wanted something more permanent, and not the ubiquitous white disposable mask I see so often. I work hard enough to deserve a nice cloth mask. At the same time I thought, any kind of bourgeois jewel encrusted number would be inappropriate. Simple plain cloth seemed like a good middle-ground. It says, "I'm not a peasant, but I'm also not a government minister." The perfect utilitarian working mans mask. But then I thought it needed a little something, so I added a picture of Chinese artist Ai Weiwei. If you don't know who he is, do yourself a favor and watch the documentary "Never Sorry".

MY FAVORITE "SENSOR CHIP" CARTOONS

I took an informal poll of my five middle school classes (grades 7, 8, and 9) and asked them what they considered the biggest problem facing China. Almost across the board, students responded either pollution or food safety. A few said disputes with Japan over islands. Nobody said censorship. In fact, nobody even knew what that meant. After briefly explaining that the Chinese government blocks access to certain websites and social media, and also bans certain books and movies, none of the students felt this was a real problem. Some mentioned being irritated that they couldn't watch funny movies on Youtube,  and some mentioned using VPNs to get around the firewall. It seems in talking with people here in China that the outside world is more concerned with censorship in China than the Chinese themselves. Perhaps it's the thought of a billion ill-informed people incapable of critical thinking that scares the shit out of people outside China. It certainly scares me as I see it up close!

People here in China are told that the reason some websites are blocked is to allow Chinese businesses to enter into the market and compete with companies like Facebook and Youtube. And it is true that there is a Facebook like service here called Renren. But Renren doesn't operate outside government oversight and censorship like Facebook does. And the above explanation certainly doesn't explain why information about the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacres is blocked, why movies that touch on any aspect of the cultural revolution are banned, or why Chinese can't read blogs (both blogspot and wordpress are blocked). Of course people of means can buy a VPN and circumvent the firewall, but these people typically have too much to risk to step out of line. It is the poor, who don't really understand the issue of censorship that are effected by it the most, and there are a lot of poor people in China. To view a partial list of websites blocked in China click here.

MELAMINE IN YOUR MILK? THOUGHTS ON FOOD SAFTEY IN CHINA

Just about everyone I've talked to here in China is concerned with the issue of food safety, and for good reason. The country has a terrible record of keeping the food people eat safe. The most famous instance of this was when melamine, a highly toxic type of plastic, was found in baby milk powder. Six infants died, and thousands became deathly ill. This happened in 2008, and people still travel over three hours from where we live to Hong Kong to buy milk powder, to the extent that the government has limited the amount they can bring back into the mainland. The people responsible for adding the melamine back in 2008 (which was to manipulate the protein levels and increase profits) were executed by the government. Even so, this quick buck/damn the consequences mentality prevails to this day. Chinese businesses have become experts at nickel and dimming customers to maximize profits. I see daily small scale examples: The street vendor who drops a pineapple slice on the filthy street and washes it off when no one is looking instead of throwing it away, the restaurant that doesn't remake an order when it is incorrect, but instead spends five minutes picking out the unwanted item with their hands, kitchens without soap for employees to wash their hands, meat sold in the market that has spoiled, etc. These are the things everyone sees everyday here, and yet don't demand anything different. I can only imagine what goes on in the factories and farms that produce China's food outside anyones watchful eyes. For our part, Julie and I spend tons of money on imported foods, rarely eat meat, soak and scrub all our vegetables with vinegar, don't cook with tap water, and consciously try not to buy the same local brands more than once. We also go through soap at an alarming rate. I took the photos above at a nearby open-air market, known locally as a "wet-market". A visit will make a vegetarian out of anybody.   

A HOLE IN THE FENCE REVISITED

As you can see by the photo, the hole in the basketball court fence that I mentioned in a prior blog post has been mended. As a result nobody has been playing basketball. I hope the hole doesn't stay closed for long. Viva la revolucion!

WHAT DOES A KING REALLY THINK ABOUT?

A really fascinating interview with King Abdullah II of Jordan recently appeared in The Atlantic magazine, and is causing quite a stir (read it by clicking here). What is the root of the controversy? The King is honest and forthcoming in the article. This lack of political calculation is causing people to lose their minds. My take on the whole thing is that it must get exhausting being a King or any politician for that matter, bull-shiting all the time and putting on false faces. Abdullah comes across as someone who is exhausted by the game and frustrated by the speed of progress. I think he genuinely wants to push his country toward a western-style democracy, but is frustrated that his people might not be ready for it and that his power is in fact not absolute. One of the most interesting facets of the article is the King's admission that his own intelligence agency (known as the Mukhabarat) is not completely under his control and frequently undermines his agenda. The implications of this are pretty frightening; an intelligence agency operating on their own agendas without any effective system of checks and balances? In the end, I for one am extremely grateful for the King's candor. It makes him human, and I empathize with his struggles. It's all the other politicians who never say anything of substance that we should be worried about.

ENVISIONING THE PERFECT DYSTOPIA

I was thinking today about what attributes would create a near perfect dystopian society where personal freedom would be nearly expunged and the masses would work for the fiscal benefit of a select few. This is what I came up with. Boy would I hate to live somewhere like this!

1. An educational system that emphasizes rote memorization over critical thinking, accomplished by heavy emphasis on subjects such as math, science, and chemistry.

2. A meticulously censored internet with blocked access to social networking sites and blogs. State controlled media and newspapers. Broad censorship of books and movies.

3. State suppressed  history and the altering of historical facts that are deemed "too negative".

4. Politicians and government with no accountability to the people.

5. Almost universal distrust of the safety of the air, food, and water, which in turn causes people to live in a constant state of fear. 

6. A massive gap between rich and poor, though enough money is trickled down to make the poor and middle class veracious consumers, which coincidentally is one of the only paths to an identity.

7. Widespread destruction of the environment all for the profit of the elite. 

8. Air pollution so pervasive that it causes a general malaise and depression.

9. Architecture and housing so sterile and aesthetically unappealing that no comfort can be found in people's immediate surroundings.

10. Subtle daily reenforcement that people are animals, like lack of public restrooms, lack of seating in public areas and parks, and insufficient sewage facilities that causes communities to reek of raw sewage.

11. Overabundance of low-wage, poorly educated security personnel stationed at housing developments, schools, businesses, etc., to reenforce a submissive posture for inhabitants.

12. Cameras everywhere filming everything. People under constant surveillance.

13. A massive population of workers selected to be submissive and apathetic.

14. A non-transparent legal system.

15. Severe consequences for even basic dissent.