PORTRAIT BY AMMAR KHAMMASH

This is a portrait of me painted by Ammar Khammash. About a year ago Ammar asked me how much I would charge for some pictures I took of his architecture projects here in Jordan. I thought about it and said I'd rather have a painting. I've always thought it was kind of cool to have your portrait painted like back in the day. Tonight I sat for him, and after about an hour he handed me the canvas above. I like it, but I'm a bit to close to it to have a proper opinion. He definitely captured my current feelings about Amman in my facial expressions. Do you like it?

SPECIAL CIRCLE OF HELL FOR PRETENTIOUS ARTISTS

I'm a big fan of humility. I haven't always been though. When I was young and more impressionable, Ayn Rand convinced me that being an egotist was a good thing. I worshipped her characters, especially the great architect Howard Roark, but even back then something seemed missing. Later I would realize that Roark had no sense of humor; none of her characters do. They're all so damn intense and self-righteous that I don't think I could tolerate having a beer with any of them. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've been meeting a lot of artists here in Jordan, and for the most part, I've been deeply disappointed. I've befriended quite a few and gotten to know them a bit after my work with them is done. During an interview for a magazine even the biggest bastard can come off ok if they are smart enough. But once they let their guard down, when things are off-the-record, you realize just how self-absorbed these people really are. Had they chosen a different profession, I wouldn't take issue. But this thing they claim to be, this noble pursuit, doesn't need impostors confusing an already confused populous. Can you imagine Van Gogh asking a photographer to try to make him look thinner in a picture? Well, a beach ball with a head that calls himself an artist asked me to do that the other day. It's not surprising to me that the handleful of artists that I've come to admire here have the gift of humility and a sense of humor. They also produce the best work.

AYN RAND QUOTE FROM "THE FOUNTAINHEAD"

"If I found a job, a project, an idea or a person I wanted-I'd have to depend on the whole world. Everything has strings leading to everything else. We're all so tied together. We're all in a net, the net is waiting, and we're pushed into it by one single desire. You want a thing and it's precious to you. Do you know who is standing ready to tear it out of your hands? You can't know, it may be so involved and so far away, but someone is ready, and you're afraid of them all. And you cringe and you crawl and you beg and you accept them-just so they'll let you keep it. And look at whom you come to accept."

THE SAFETY OF JORDAN VS CRIME IN THE US

One thing I love about living in Jordan is the absence of theft. Don't get me wrong, people do steal here: from their companies, from entities like US AID, but rarely if ever do people steal directly from each other. I think part of it is the culture, but also a large part comes from a profound fear of the consequences. If the guy pictured above was caught in Jordan, he might just disappear for a few months before being officially convicted and sent away for even more time. No three strike policy here; hell, even a ball could get you beaten. And I have to say, I'm all for it. I'm sick of getting my car broken into in the States (three times in two years). In the rare case that someone is caught, they get a slap on the wrist. I'm really not kidding when I say I'm in favor of taking the wrist, not for stealing a candy bar, but certaintly for a home robbery. I remember a time I was walking in downtown Portland when a man ran out of the Columbia Sportswear store with five Gore-tex jackets under his arm. A crowd of people stood around watching him run away. I decided to chase him, and when I caught him in a nearby parking garage, I demaded the jackets. He threw them on the ground and ran off. Had this happened in Jordan a mob of men would have beaten this guy and held him until the police arrived. As a side note, when I returned the jackets (worth over a thousand dollars) to Columbia, no one said thank you. They took down my number, but no one ever had the decency to call me. Shame on Columbia. In the time that Julie and I have lived in Jordan we had no bank account. We kept thousands of dollars in a drawer in my office and never thought twice about it. I can't think of a city in the US that I would feel comfortable doing that. And people are afraid of the Middle East. Be afraid of Baltimore!

INSIDE THE ARTIST'S STUDIO

This is a new section that I've been doing for Trendesign magazine. Its been interesting meeting different artists and hearing what they have to say. The whole experience has given me a new perspective on the art world, a world of fragile egos, art pimps, hustlers, and the occasional true artist. There is definitly an HBO series here.

JULIANNE SCANNELL PHOTOGRAPHY

Well, these are Julie's photos, but as we are not married, the name change indicated is not yet accurate. I love to tease her about taking the "Scannell" because she is quite attached to "Beitzel". It is a weird little custom we have and I don't think she is totally sold on it. These photos are from a few of our recent adventures over the last two weekends. Julie returns to the States in about a week to start grad school, so we are trying to fit as much in as possible.

HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION OR KING'S CORONATION?

These are actually photos of a high school graduation dinner for a private high school in Amman, Jordan. I can't imagine how much this elaborate set-up must have cost, not to mention the beef medallions for 900 people. This is how the rich roll here. You only graduate high school once.