CHRISTMAS TREE TRADITION

For the past eight or so years, Julie and I venture out to Sauvie Island, look for the perfect little oxygen generating tree, and then mercilessly hack it down with a handsaw in order to make our house more festive for the holiday season. This year we outdid ourselves and killed a very handsome little guy. When I look at the pictures above I can't help but draw comparisons to those taken at Abu Ghraib. Yes, it is sort of a stupid tradition, but we don't have many in our lives. The hardest part is ripping the wings off butterflies for the homemade garland.

SYMBIOSIS: THE GREENLANTERN by ROMOLO STANCO

I came across this story in a magazine I used to work for in Jordan called Trendesign. Apparently, scientists in Germany looking for a sustainable alternative to plastic stumbled upon lignin, a key ingredient in wood that can be converted into a plastic-like material when combined with natural fibers, resins, and flax. They called the new creation Arboform or liquid wood. It can be molded exactly like plastic, but is 100% recyclable and toxin free. Years later Italian designer Romolo Stanco took the idea a step further, creating a combination lamp/vase. What makes the design genius is that low-energy LED lights in the vase aid the plant's photosynthesis process, and the plant's surplus of electrochemical energy in turn feeds the batteries that power the LED lights, for a nearly perfect symbiotic relationship. My only issue is that Google searches for information on "Greenlantern" are difficult on account of the superhero by the same name.

INTERIOR DESIGN WITH UNLIMITED BUDGETS

As you might surmise from the title, I tend to be less than impressed with interior designers who work with unlimited budgets. Give anyone with half an aesthetic unlimited cash and they are sure to come up with something intereting. Case in point is the home of interior designer Sirin Masri in Amman, Jordan pictured above. I say "home" because it looks like a home, even though her family lives in another house across town. Sirin's father owns most of the 5 star hotels in Jordan, so needless to say the family is extremely wealthy. This home was an exercise in interior design for Sirin, and no expense was spared, from the leather floors in the bedroom, to the imported slate and copper in the family room. It is a very nice space that must have cost millions to design. I'm more impressed when designers work with strict budgets, and even more so when they make their abilities available to the common man. In the end, aesthetics are important, and people of all means should be able to live somewhere that feels good. I guess that makes me an aesthetic socialist.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: CANON POWERSHOT S100

Canon has just released an update to their Powershot "S" series line of cameras. This line of cameras has ebbed and flowed over the years and eventually fell behind cameras like the Panasonic DMC-LX1 (then 2 and 3) in terms of innovation. The Canon s100 finally catches up, and possibly pulls ahead of Panasonic. I had an S90, which was just OK, and a DMC-LX2, which I really liked. When I talk about improvements below, I'm talking about over the s90 as I never bought the S95. As the camera is new, its RAW files are not yet recognized by Lightroom, so I've only been able to look at JPEG files. The pictures above were taken today at the Japanese Gardens here in Portland.

Pros:

1. Body feels much better, a bit heavier and made with a textured plastic that almost feels like metal. When it comes to pocket cameras, when will camera companies learn that a little extra weight is a good thing. It helps make the camera feel solid and not like a cheap toy. Buttons are sturdier and have much improved functionality over the s90. New front grip is nice as well as the dual lanyard loops on either side of the camera.

2. FINALLY Canon gives users the ability to switch between aspect ratios. 4:3 is still native, but changing to 3:2 is in the function menu.

3. Image stabilization is turned off when the s100 detects a tripod, a great idea that seems to work well in initial testing.

4. Camera has GPS and there is a link from the metadata in Lightroom directly to Google maps.

5. Lens opens to a fast F2 with a nice wide 24-120 mm equivalent.

6. Macro mode seems improved over the s90.

Cons:

1. Rear LCD isn't as big as it first may appear. 1/4 of an inch on the right side of the LCD is not actual LCD. It remains black when you turn the camera on. Intentionally misleading? Probably.

2. When lens is fully extended, the aperture decreases to F 5.9, therefore achieving good background blur or bokeh is difficult.

THANK GOD I ONLY BRUSHED MY TEETH WITH IT

These are real signs that are posted above every toilet and urinal at the gym I'm a member of. When I think of bureaucracy, I think of things like this sign, at least I hope so. I envision some committee somewhere telling my gym that the signs are necessary to protect the health and wellbeing of its members. I hope there was an objection that was overruled. I really hope the signs didn't come about as a result of a lawsuit where somebody got sick. "There wasn't one sign in that entire bathroom that alerted me to the fact that the toilet water wasn't safe to drink your honor."

A HOUSE FIT FOR AN ASSHOLE

You are looking at the world's most expensive house, named Antilla, and located in Mumbai, India. It is owned by the world's 5th richest person, Mukesh Ambani. Certainly if you have money, you can spend it how you like. But this house, or skyscraper, cost around a billion dollars to build in a country where most people make less than $2 a day. To build this monstrosity in a country with such poverty is insensitive to say the least. It appears that Ambani never thought about this point and was surprised when he was criticized after Antilla was completed. As a result, his family has yet to move in. He has a wife and three kids. The house is 27 stories tall and has a staff of 600 people. By contrast, the world's 3rd richest man, Warren Buffet, still lives in the same house he bought in 1958 for $31,500.

DEPRESSING HAIKUS THAT EFFECTED CHANGE

I came across the following haikus as I near the end of my midlife organizational crisis. They were all written in the winter of my discontent, the entire year of 2007. That painful year found me trying to return to my mind-numbingly futile job after returning from Semester at Sea. That trip, while incredible, made returning to any semblance of a "normal" life rather difficult. Thank God for that!

will 08' find me

struggling with entitlement

or nearing my God

Refuge For the Soul

Requires Compromises

Contrary to Art

Financial Turmoil

Fearful Nation Clutches Things

Medicated Daze

Ebay auction win

An infinite universe

The perfect hair gel

JORDANIAN ARTISTS

I thought I would post this to help direct people to Jordanian artists. One nice thing about the art scene in Jordan is that it's not yet overrun by pretentious galleries, so it is still possible to contact artists directly to acquire their art. The picture above is a collage of all the artists I had the pleasure of meeting in my time there. If you would like their contact info, shoot me an email.

MY DREAM OF BEING A CARTOONIST

I suppose most boys go through a phase where they want to be cartoonists. I really wanted that job, but there was one sizable problem: I couldn't draw. I had lots of ideas that proved painful to execute. Today I came across a handful of the concepts that I did manage to draw and thought I would post a few of my favorites. If you can't tell by my shameless "borrowed" style, I love the work of Gary Larson. I did these back in 1995.

APPLE AND PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE

Planned obsolescence is when companies plan in advance to phase out certain technologies in order to make people keep buying their new products. A few days ago my new MacBook Pro computer arrived from Apple (my 4th Apple in 5 years). Getting a new computer used to be a happy time. Now it is filled with nervous anticipation over what software won't run on the new operating system. So far just two disappointments: Microsoft Office 2004 and Final Cut Studio 2. The later is a big setback because I've heard nothing but bad things about the new Final Cut X. Hollywood used to edit movies with this software, and now it's an app you download online? Not impressed. Microsoft Office just pisses me off because I only need it for Word, and Word isn't worth $150. And lastly, Apple is phasing out iWeb and iDvd, so they don't include them on new computers. Only problem is my website for Happy Medium Studios was built and is maintained through iWeb. After two hours of fighting on the phone, the great folks over at Apple agreed to mail me the $16 DVD with those apps on it. For a fantastic look inside the world of Planned Obsolescence, click here to view a short film on the subject.

THE ISRAELI PALESTINIAN CONFLICT SOLUTION

Yes, while sitting at the computer today watching Modern Family, I've figured out a way to solve a problem that has plagued our world since 1948: the Israeli Palestinian conflict. I have to admit, I knew little about this issue until I lived for a couple of years in Jordan. Most of the people I met there were Palestinians whose families left their homeland in either 1948 or 1967 as a result of Israeli aggression. I tend to sympathise with them, and like the cartoon shows, Israel has done a fantastic job of turning sympathizers into anti-semites. It is also clear to me now that I'm back in the US how impossible it would be for a politician here to be openly pro-Palestine. But even with these obstacles, I have a solution to the problem. Israel has to revert to their 1967 borders and immediately declare Palestine an independent state. To make this happen, all the Muslim OPEC nations (Saudi Arabia, UAE, Iran, Kuwait, Iraq, Libya, Qatar, and Algeria) need to do is place an embargo on the exportation of oil to the US. Though the US is heavily pro-Israel, they care far more about economics. If Muslim OPEC nations banded together, it would lead to massive gas shortages in the US and would send oil prices through the roof. Washington would be forced to pressure Israel to do the right thing (as fighting a war with 8 countries wouldn't be feasible) and Palestine would become a state alongside Israel. Bloodless Middle East peace in less than a week. Will it happen? No, because when it comes down to it, the Muslim OPEC countries don't give a shit about Palestine. They have become addicted to our money. If not, this would have happened a long time ago. They have traded their solidarity for golden bidets and Bentleys.

DESTINATION MORE RELAXING THAN JOURNEY

Julie and I made it back to Portland to be reunited with all our useless-but fun to see again-crap. It is a long, long way from Atlanta. About two months ago I left Jordan and flew to Atlanta and bought a car (a Hyundai Accent). I drove it up to Virginia to liberate Julie from school (George Mason University). Then we visited my cousin Scott in Philadelphia, checked out New York City, and then visited relatives in Pennsylvania, before landing for an extended stay in Chicago at Julie's parent's house. Long haul from Chicago to Bozeman to see my friend Craig, and finally the lightning round from Bozeman to Portland. Been back in Portland a couple of weeks and found an apartment with the view shown above. In total, nearly 4,000 miles and 20 pounds put on since leaving Atlanta. Took car for an oil change; took body to the gym.

ENOUGH FAKE CREDIT CARDS

I was cleaning out a box today when I came across this rather large stack of fake credit cards, designed to lure me into debt. These came in the mail over about a one year period. I kept them because I was going to cut them up and make a mosaic of some kind, but never got around to it. They are all the same, with a generic "your name here", except for the first one I got, pictured above. It has a guys name on it and looks like a real card. I wonder how much fraud was committed on manual credit card machines before AMEX caught on? Poor J B Atkins.

NEW ART CREATION

Yes, it's time to get heavy. For a man who thought he didn't own that much stuff, I sure have a lot of stuff. As I was unpacking in Portland, I threw these four items together and liked the creation. The items include:

1. Antique holy water bottle given to me by The Duke of Mukeibeh

2. Cross purchased at the Vatican

3. A paint brush

4. An original badge worn by employees who built the first atomic bomb in Los Alamos, New Mexico. The number 239 is also significant because plutonium 239 is the type used to make nuclear weapons.

Put it all together and I think it makes some sort of statement. Not sure what that is.

CHICAGO RIVER ARCHITECTURE TOUR

There are a lot of interesting building in Chicago thanks to architects like Louis Sullivan and Mies van der Rohe. While we were in the city for our engagement party we took a boat tour of the Chicago River, a very good way to see the city. The tour was recommended by my dad's aunt's daughter, Joanne. Still not sure what to call our relation. Great cousin? Second cousin? While I was searching for answers I came across this weird page. I don't think you should date anyone who might turn up at a family reunion.

THE PORNO FORT

I guess I was probably in 4th grade when my dad built us a plywood fort underneath the deck of our house. It was simple and crude structure, but it was a fort nonetheless. Not long after its completion, my brother and I were out riding our bikes when we came across a very interesting magazine that somebody must have thrown out their car window. It was a Penthouse. What a fascinating find! Being young and stupid I decided we should decorate the walls of our new fort with the unusual photos in the magazine. I specifically remember that the name of one article was "Going Down", and it featured a woman "servicing" a man in an elevator. Something about those pictures captured my youthful imagination. My brother and I plaster the pages all over the fort and were so proud of ourselves that we asked our mom to come take a look. Needless to say she was horrified and we were grounded. The old porno fort was never the same afterwards. A photo might be worth a thousand words, but sometimes those words don't tell the whole story.

GOODBYE VANN NATH

Cambodian artist Vann Nath passed away this Monday after suffering a heart attack. I had the privilege of meeting this remarkable man on a recent trip to Cambodia back in May of this year. I've never met a finer representative of humanity in all my time on this planet. I hope he is reborn into a more peaceful world.

UN-AMERICAN: FLIGHT 93 MEMORIAL

It may surprise many of you to learn that almost 10 years after the events of 9-11, that there is still not a permanent memorial to honor the heros of flight 93 in Shanksville, PA. I don't know all the details of the massive delays, but bureaucracy and greed are two big factors. The proposed memorial site encompasses 2,200 acres of rural farmland, and after long negotiations, 8 of the 9 landowners agreed to accept 9.5 million dollars for their nearly 2,000 acres. The one holdout, a man named Michael Svonavec (pictured below left), owns the crucial 273 acres that includes the impact site where the plane crashed. He is still battling the government over the land. Svonavec originally wanted fifty million dollars for his acreage, but said later that he would accept ten million. The government is taking him to court and is prepared to use eminent domain to seize the land. This asshole even put up a donation box at the site to solicit money under the guise of raising funds for the memorial. Click here for his address. And finally, we have the dipshit pictured below right, the former Congressman from North Carolina, Charles H. Taylor, who has the distinct honor of being one of the most corrupt politicians ever. He was opposed to establishing a monument for the flight 93 heros in Shanksville. Shameful. The first of three phases of the memorial is scheduled to open on 9-11-11. They don't even have an estimate as to when the last phase will be completed. I found out all this information from a very frank resident of Shanksville and later confirmed it in this New York Times article.

FALLINGWATER: MILL RUN, PENNSYLVANIA

This past week I made my fourth visit to Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater in Mill Run, Pennsylvania. It is still one of the most romantic spots I know of, though I was a bit turned off by a few new developments there. The first, and this is becoming a world-wide trend, is that they have stopped allowing photographs inside the home. This is not because photos damage anything, but because of the time it takes for 15 amateur photographers per tour to take photos of everything with their cell phones and point and shoots. Your typical point and shoot camera is incapable of taking a sharp no flash picture in the low light conditions inside the house, but people try anyways, and I guess it slows down the tours (I'll blame dipshits with cell phones for this one). The second off putting thing is that the trustee of the house and property, the Western Pennsylvania Conservancy, has started using the tour as an opportunity to solicit memberships with their group. This is tastelessly done at the end of the tour as the guide directs you into the "servants quarters" that have been remodeled into a sitting room with a large plasma TV. For the next five minutes guests are forced to watch a promotional DVD about the organization and then a woman asks everyone to join. This might be ok if the tour was free, but my third and final gripe is that the 40 minute tour costs $22 per person! It wasn't long ago when you could go to an amusement park all day for less than that. The Conservancy also has legal language on the back of each ticket that makes it illegal to post photos of the house on a blog. The more hits I get, the more likely I'll get sued. Tell a friend.

"TO FULLY ENJOY THE PARK, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM INDULGING IN OUR PRODUCTS"

There is a great deal of irony in a theme park built by a candy company that has about five roller coasters with seats so narrow that your average overweight American can't fit into them. But in Hershey, Pennsylvania there is such a park, with singing animatronic cows that espouse the virtues of chocolate. On one wooden coaster, a mildly obese man in front of us waited over an hour only to find that his posterior would not fit into the seat. It was pretty sad watching him try for over a minute to wiggle into the seat, only to be met with defeat. This is why I am suggesting the new "You must be this high and no wider than this to ride this ride" signs. Currently 10% of the US population has been diagnosed with diabetes, and another 40% have pre-diabetes. In ten years time, I believe we will look at sugar like we do cigarettes. That means creepy windowless rooms in airports where you'll have to go if you want to indulge in a Milky Way.

MUSEUM OF SEX: NEW YORK, NEW YORK

Some people go to the MET while in NYC; Julie and I went to the Museum of Sex. It's a fairly interesting museum, though I will say watching "historical porn" surrounded by strangers is a bit unusual. The basic message of the museum is that for an activity so crucial to our existence and practiced by nearly all of us, we sure don't celebrate or talk much about sex. The animal sex section was eye opening. Did you know that lions give each other oral sex? Or that there are documented cases of mallard duck necrophilia. Monkeys masturbate! The bottom photo is a set piece from a short film by Michael Sullivan called "The Sex Lives of Robots". In the film Sullivan creates a post-apocaliptic world where robots figure out ways to sexually reproduce.

MAGIC GARDENS: PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA

Philadelphia's Magic Gardens is a folk art environment that showcases the work of mosaicist Isaiah Zagar. Located on South Street at the site of Zagar's largest public mosaic installation, Magic Gardens includes a fully mosaiced indoor gallery and a massive outdoor labyrinthine mosaic sculpture. The space, primarily consisting of found objects and contributions from the community, covers half a city block with myriads of tiles, mirrors and other objects. Zagar has devoted himself to beautifying the South Street neighborhood since the late 1960s, when he moved to the area with his wife Julia. The couple helped spur the revitalization of the area by purchasing and renovating derelict buildings and adding colorful mosaics on both their private and public walls.

Zagar started working on the Magic Gardens in 1994 in the vacant lot nearby his studio. He began by constructing a massive fence to protect the area from harm and then spent the next fourteen years excavating tunnels and grottos, sculpting multi-layered walls, and tiling and grouting the 3,000 square foot space.

In 2002, the Boston-based owner of the once-vacant lot decided to sell the land in response to rising South Street property values. Unwilling to witness the destruction of Zagar's neighborhood art environment, the community rushed to support the artist, and over a period of several years, rasied the funds to buy the property. Zagar is also featured in a documentary made by his son called "In a Dream".

BRIAN READS THE WEATHER

Along with a gaggle of ten year olds, I waited in line at the Newseum for the opportunity to make an ass of myself for only $5.00. It was great fun, and only took me three takes. I read the text provided me by the teleprompter, even though it really didn't make sense. My only regret was that I didn't say, "Back to you Sonia" at the end. If you've ever wondered, "Who buys this shit" when you visit museums or amusement parks, the answer in me. Below is one of my favorite purchases from the Experience the Music Project in Seattle. For just over 3 minutes, my friend Seth and I were the infamous "Indiscreet Love Pumps", and damn did we put on a show.